Enter your height and a black hole mass. Find out when you become cosmic noodles.
When you fall toward a black hole, the side of you closer to the hole feels a stronger pull than your head. That difference is called tidal force. On Earth it is tiny, because Earth is small and you are far from its center. Near a black hole, the tidal force becomes so strong that it stretches you vertically and compresses you sideways. You become long and thin. Astronomers call this spaghettification.
The key surprise: for a supermassive black hole like the one at the center of the Milky Way, the tidal force at the event horizon is actually mild. You could cross the horizon without noticing. You would not be spaghettified until you are already inside. For a small black hole, like 10 times the mass of the Sun, you would be torn apart long before you cross the horizon. The bigger the black hole, the gentler the entry.
The event horizon is the point of no return. Once you cross it, no signal can get back out. An outside observer would see you slow down, freeze, and fade as your light gets stretched and redshifted. From your own point of view, you just keep falling. You would not feel the horizon. You would only notice the tide when it rips you apart.
The last moment, for a human, is when the tidal force across your body exceeds your body's strength. Bones break, organs tear, and you become a stream of atoms. This calculator estimates that point. The numbers are approximate. The physics is real. The ending is unavoidable.
Not delicious ones. The tidal force stretches you along the line to the black hole and compresses you sideways. The process starts with your feet, because they are closer. Blood drains downward, organs pull apart, and your body becomes a thin stream of tissue. Scientists call this "noodleification." You would not survive to taste it.
The point of no return. The radius where the escape velocity equals the speed of light. Once you cross it, you cannot send a signal out, because light itself cannot escape. Outside observers never see you cross; they see you freeze and redshift into darkness. Inside, you keep falling to the singularity.
A small one. A 10-solar-mass black hole spaghettifies you about 600 kilometers from its center, which is outside its horizon (horizon is about 30 km). A supermassive one, like 4 million solar masses, has a horizon 12 million km wide. The tidal force at that radius is gentle. You cross the horizon fine, then get spaghettified inside. Size is mercy.
For a supermassive black hole, yes, briefly. The tidal force at the horizon is less than Earth's gravity. You would float through normally. The problem is what happens next: the singularity. For a Schwarzschild black hole, the trip from horizon to singularity lasts about 10 seconds. For the Milky Way's central black hole, that trip is about 30 seconds. Then the tide gets you.